Chaos Without a Shirt
by Okami no hanyou
Summary: Not your usual self insertion fic. It's insane, funny, (I hope! crosses fingers) and includes time warps and Elvis Presly. Read if your sick of old cliche's and plot, and are in need of a laugh. REAL summary inside.


Chaos Without a Shirt

A/N: Dear sweet Jesus god... I'm making a self insertion fic..... What hell have I wrought? And the worst part is, I should be working on getting ISNK back up and running, but I really wanted to write this.... So don't kill me. No, I don't like coffins at all....

Disclaimer: Well, I don't own it. Simple as that, though the situation sucks. But I do happen to own a Sesshomaru plushie! YAYAYYYYY!!!!

Summary: (you know, In case you clicked on the wrong fic....)

(THE REAL ONE!)

It's a beautiful sunny day in the world of Inuyasha. The plot is going on as it should, and the group is innocently traveling down the road. But add crazy falling authors, insanity, inter-dimensional backpacks and other weird people? Chaos Without a Shirt.

The wind is howling, trees are being ripped brutally from their precious roots. Lightning is flashing, cars are driving as fast as they can on the wet slippery streets. Cows are being thrown into the air! It's pandemonium!! It's hell on earth!! It's-

Wait a minute, this is Florida. Oopsy daisy! Let's change it to Ohio shall we?

It's an absolutely beautiful day here in Ohio where the birds are singing, the sun is shining and- Wait, it's pretty bad here too. It's frigid and wet, and it has been for a while. Damn, something is supposed to be sunny! Oh well, on with the fic.

The scene changes to a small library. It looks rather cozy and well built. People are exiting the doors with rented books/DVD's/Videos/CD's in their arms, and big smiles on their faces. Inside, people are choosing something that will likely take up most of their petty little lives for at least the next few days. Peons....

At one of the rental computers, a young girl stands, staring avidly at the computers' screen. She leans in with a dramatic air, and her eyes widen to proportions this narrator did not think was humanly possible..

As the girl draws closer to the screen, her nose twitches. Then she begins to laugh uncontrollably, and falls to the libraries floor guffawing. People walking by shielded their children muttering about letting obviously insane people into such a public place as this. The girl went on laughing and rolling around on the ground. People ran.

The girl, however, paid this no mind. She carried on, and the librarians eventually had to come and smack her to calm her down. Afterwards, she went back to staring at the screen with the occasional giggle. Her bluish eyes darted across the page, then a scowl crossed her face, and she had quite different reactions. First, she began to click like a raving lunatic with her mouse, then she began to swear at it softly. Then her language escalated, and she slammed her fist against the desk and began to shake the monitor. She then calmed and glared at it, and the librarians were relieved they would not have to resort to tranquilizers.

She began to click random buttons, and found that nothing would work. She began to sob on the keyboard. With a few moans of why, her crying grew worse. Then she heard a beep.

She grinned. Had it stopped? Had the damn popup ended? She glanced up to see....

Another one. Greeeaaatttttt.......

She made a move to press the close button but flashing letters made her read it. She read, and her eyebrow raised. It read "Rock in need of relationship! Please come to space time continuum." The girl giggled and pressed the 'X' button, but instead of feeling the pleasure of the destruction of yet another popup, she fell.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:: gasp::AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" The girl screams and screams, and it results in nothing but her voice getting hoarse... And hurting this narrator's ears. Grrr....

::FWOMP:

"Ow!" she yelped as a random boot hit her. She looked all around and realized, she had stopped falling. She was floating, and it was very cool. The area around her was all purple-y and swirly and there was big green holes all around. She waved her arms, and started to do a jig. Happy with the discovery of being able to move, she began to do the mocarana. She soon found herself doing flips and giggling like an overzealous leave raker.

"HeeHee...." Soon after the newfound ability of flipping, she began to zip around at top speed by flapping her arms and kicking her legs. It was oddly like swimming in midair. She was having a grand old time before she heard sirens.

"Stop right there!" The girl hung upside down as a fat police-like man waddle/flew over to her. "You are charged with speeding in the space time continuum!" The girl blinked.

"Who are you?"

"My names is Sergeant Fuffle of the Space Time continuum and this," He said, while shuffling in his pocket and bringing out a rock, "Is George, my pet rock." The girl sweat dropped.

"Why do you have a pet rock?"

"It gets very lonely here.... I'm the only patrol officer. I have George... but he needs a certain somebody. You know.... Hey, what's your name young lady?"

"My name's Bethany, but nobody calls me that. Everyone calls me Beppi." The man smiled at Beppi with yellowing teeth.

"Say miss Beppi, are you single?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Yes... Why?"

"Would you consider... being George's girlfriend! He needs the love!" Said the dumpy 'police man.' Beppi blanched.

"No way in hell!!!" The man growled and pulled out a gun.

"Be his woman now! Or pay the consequence for speeding!" The girl shook her head. This is what happens when you have only a rock to talk to for so long.... She quickly punched him in the face, and swam towards one of the green holes that littered the area.

Nearing it, she popped her head in and was greeted by an odd surprise. At first she saw a wall, but she turned her head and saw about a dozen freaked out hamsters. One had a pink scarf, another had a pot on it's head, and another was fat and had sunflower seeds falling from it's mouth and there were many more. She blinked and they all began to squeal and run around like crazy. Beppi pulled her head out of the hole. That was simply way too weird.

When her head was out, she say Sergeant Fuffle was coming after her, and she swam for the next nearest hole, and popped her head in. There was a dead woman with long blackish hair near her head. She shrieked and another woman holding a scared looking dog type thingy came running in. The woman saw Beppi's head and shrieked. The dog type thingy leaped out of her arms and barked in joyous rapture. Then the dead woman sat up and said, "Excel, I'm hungry." Beppi freaked out, and yanked her head out once more.

Getting out, she swam as fast as she could without even looking to see if the dude was following her. She simply went as fast as she could. Those two holes led to places that looked really familiar... She flew into another green hole, only she wasn't so careful and the entire upper half of her body went in. Here she saw something she could definitely place. It was Freeza, from Dragon Ball Z during his big battle with Goku.

"Hey I know you people real well! Aya Chan went through a DBZ faze..." The two looked over at the girls' half body floating in midair and their eyes widened. She waved happily at them and said, "Those other little holes must have been anime's too! It all makes sense now! Yaya!" Freeza seemed to have decided during Beppi's little speech that she was not a threat, and could easily die.

"Stupid brat, it's time to die!" Just before the attack actually happened, Beppi regained enough sense to get out of there and fly around in the Continuum thingy. She turned around and saw that Sergeant Fuffle was very close. Without thinking, she swam/flew as fast as she could. She was panting heavily and the sweat was dripping down in her eyes. She turned her head to see how close he was now, and went straight, and all the way, into a warp hole.

And once again, she fell.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA........"

"Inuyasha! Stop being mean to Shippo, he only took one chip!" Kagome shrieked at Inuyasha.

"Well, he has his own and these are MINE!" He growled at her and she scowled back.

"You're mean and inconsiderate! Why can't you be mature?" Inuyasha huffed and Kagome stuck her nose in the air and stomped over to the whimpering Shippo.

"Hypocrite.." Inuyasha said under his breathe, but Kagome turned around and she seemed to have flames erupt behind her. "WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Happy mitt."

"Hmmmm..." Kagome growled angrily before turning her attention to Shippo. Sango and Miroku watched this, and sweat dropped. They were acting like a married couple again.

Miroku looked over to Sango, who was too preoccupied with something to notice. Then his eyes reverted to her rear. He reached out his hand. Closer... Closer.... Closer...... BING! Jackpot of nice and firm buttocks!

Sango felt this and swung Hirakitsu over and smacked him on the head, but his earring scuffed the newly shined surface. Her eyed widened as she brought it under her eyes to examine the mark.

"You scuffed it, you jerk!" She smacked him over the head and began to repolish it. Stupid Monk...

Kagome was putting ice on Shippo's head when she heard something. It sounded like an 'ah' sound. She looked around. It was getting louder and louder.

"Inuyasha, do you hear that?" Inuyasha nodded.

"MmmHmm..." He stood up. "You think it's a demon?" Kagome shrugged. Sango stood up.

"I'm ready if it is!" Kirara meowed as if she was too, and Miroku nodded. Shippo looked for a good place to hide until it was over. The sound got louder.

"Get ready, it's almost-"

FWOMP!!!!

A girl was laying atop of Inuyasha. He, of course, was under her and unconscious. The group stared. Her regular old jeans had torn a little, and her black shirt was ruffled. Her short brown hair was spewed wildly on the ground and she squeezed her eyes together. She moand in pain while Kagome gaped.

"You're from the future!"

Ish not that good, but hey, what's ya gonna do. More will come that is a lot better, but this is just the prologue. More will come if you review.... I promise. Hey, more'll come if you don't, I just like em. A lot. Neways, hope you like it! Oh yeah, and extra points to the people who can name the other two anime's I popped my head into!

Beppi


End file.
